Journal Entry October 4, 2010
Come into the Holy of Holies, enter by the Blood of the lamb. Oh the exquisite presence of God. There is nothing like being plunged into His depth. Jesus invited the Samaritan woman sitting at the well to drink of the sparkling, restoring and ever abundant water that is available to any who seek for it. How I’ve gone through life for so long with minimal amounts of this Holy Ghost drenching, is beyond me, but I believe that God is giving to me my request for depth.
. My pastor, spiritual mentor and friends, Sandra Gonzalez left an answering machine message a few months ago,
"Anita, enter into the Holy of Holies as often as possible.”
I accept this invitation to enter uncharted spiritual termites. God has not disappointed me and Paul, the apostle spoke about being rooted and grounded. In this rooting we discover the depth width and breadth of God’s love for us, so deep, in fact, that unless we tunnel like an oil drill, we cannot fathom the mysteries of God. Paul was transported out of his body and saw magnificent attributes of God that left Him speechless and without physical strength! They were so marvelous that he could barely remember them or describe them in great depth.
Yesterday, leading worship, I felt gears switching as Holy Spirit flowed sweetly. A geyser suddenly swept over the worshipers and I was also swept into prophetic worship mode. Over and over, I strummed the A maj7th to C maj 7th chords. God’s words flowed from my tongue, not following any progression. By the time an hour had passed, we were caught in rapture of our Abba Father’s sweet anointing. All I was an empty conduit for Holy Ghost to flow through. Pastor Sandra was so weak from the anointing as she closed the service and thanked me for allowing the Lord to flow through me.
Of course, I had nothing at all to do with His goodness and mercy. I just wanted Him to have free access and flow. Amazing that the enemy tried to stop me from leading worship at Pastor Sandra’s church, by disabling my car. But God cannot be stopped. He had His way as I caught a ride with another church family from Full Gospel.
The enemy still tried to impede God’s anointing by causing our equipment to have problems. When I arrived at the church, Mark was struggling with getting my guitar pedals to work. Feedback blasted from the speakers. Nonetheless, God’s living rivers cascaded over us, irrespective of the technical problems.
His presence intensified as we worshiped and we could feel His overwhelming love. I’m just scraping the surface of what God has for me as a prophetic worship leader. Joel prophesied that in the last days, God’s people would dream dreams and have visions. A fresh new outpouring of His spirit iscoming to drench us, but we won’t experience that flow until we plunge into Him!
In my dissatisfaction with surface praise, I ask Holy Spirit to draw me closer and to hunger for His presence. I find myself worshiping Him more and more often during the day. He obliges, to my joy and I receive greater revelations of what he has in store for me. My prayers are more powerful and my faith is more confident. I’m seeing God move in every area.
So this is what going deeper means! Why many Christians are not thirsty for this deep water is beyond me. We will see stunning manifestations of His glory and might when we take on an Elijah faith stance. We must ask him for a double portion of His anointing. Elijah prayed that it would not rain. And there was a famine in the for over three years. If all of God’s children sought to have authoritative prayers like Elijah, how we would push back the evil tide of Satan’s works on this planet.
Come quickly, Lord Jesus, amen!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
THE CALLING
Journal Entry, April, 22, 2010
This past year, I ponder my path as a journalist, songwriter/modern prophet. I capture the painful nuances of not only my life, but those He put me in contact with. He gives me glimpses of His love through their lives and struggles. This is now my main work, portraying the meaning of suffering in such a way that it is not frightening or offensive. With God's new revelation, I no longer acquiesce to repercussions of hopelessness and despair of injustice, killings and prodigal children, but acknowledge these through filter of His grace and mercy. This is the miracle of suffering...His supernatural intervention and restoration!
My promotion as a songwriter/musician to spiritual God scientist parallels the work of the professor who scrutinizes the specimen on the microscopic slab, intent upon analyzing the constituents which make the virulent plague...sin. In spite of persistent studying confirms no cure...but God. The only cure is God for this kind of virulent and rampant strain
Religion, education Science and Psychology have all failed in their flimsy attempts to heal the inner man. Masters, Bishops, Popes and professors are deluded into believing that their tremulous studies and experiment can tame or arrest sin. Sin has the most infections and terrifying properties of even the most devastating strain ever known to mankind, tainting every soul alive from the beginning of time to the present...worse than the depicted in any science fiction movie!
Only with the continual immersing of the baptism can the disease be tamed by putting on the mind of Christ..
Just the other night, I mourned the slow rate of my recovery. Tears fell as I asked my Heavenly father why I had to endure such suffering for such a long period of time.
"Father, I know you love me, not because I feel your love, but because You've said so in your word and I walk by faith and not by sight." In coming to maturity, His children must learn to believe even without seeing or feeling. His love for me does not entail me waking up and feeling physical exuberance, vitality or feeling happy. For me it has been an arduous and elaborate gleaning of the carnal/intellectual versus the intricate glories of His workmanship, especially in suffering.
God created a perfect and pure world in the garden of Eden. That perfection was marred through Adam and Eve's sin traversing mankind through the flood onto the annihilation of sin and death through the atoning blood of JESUS Christ.
God continues to use vessels who choose to receive His instruction however, difficult, humiliating, and baffling to expound .His deeper truths. I marvel and ponder why , despite my many weaknesses, physical facilities and emotional handicapped He continues to graciously reveal His ways and will? Often, the bodily pain is so strong that I want Him to stop and carry me like Elijah into a chariot to the heavens. "It is enough, Lord," I cry out exhausted from sobbing and opposing.
My writings and songs have now evolved into deeper revelations. I wouldn't expect many to get them and I often wrestle with myself as whether I should waste the time and effort to share such knowledge with a generation so dull of hearing. Hours of editing and composing these spiritual gems usually end up with one or two people who receive and rejoice, I'm tired of delivering telephone books in the elements to secure finances to record songs that are just too deep for the mainstream. Just when I think I'm finished with music or writing, I am encouraged by the Holy Spirit. I forge forward and my Father blesses me with favor.
This is the way of the prophet Misunderstood, scorned and often ignored, but determined and obedient to capture His word and give it to a lost culture driven by secularism and materialism
Lord...throw the life rope. Someone's down there!".
This past year, I ponder my path as a journalist, songwriter/modern prophet. I capture the painful nuances of not only my life, but those He put me in contact with. He gives me glimpses of His love through their lives and struggles. This is now my main work, portraying the meaning of suffering in such a way that it is not frightening or offensive. With God's new revelation, I no longer acquiesce to repercussions of hopelessness and despair of injustice, killings and prodigal children, but acknowledge these through filter of His grace and mercy. This is the miracle of suffering...His supernatural intervention and restoration!
My promotion as a songwriter/musician to spiritual God scientist parallels the work of the professor who scrutinizes the specimen on the microscopic slab, intent upon analyzing the constituents which make the virulent plague...sin. In spite of persistent studying confirms no cure...but God. The only cure is God for this kind of virulent and rampant strain
Religion, education Science and Psychology have all failed in their flimsy attempts to heal the inner man. Masters, Bishops, Popes and professors are deluded into believing that their tremulous studies and experiment can tame or arrest sin. Sin has the most infections and terrifying properties of even the most devastating strain ever known to mankind, tainting every soul alive from the beginning of time to the present...worse than the depicted in any science fiction movie!
Only with the continual immersing of the baptism can the disease be tamed by putting on the mind of Christ..
Just the other night, I mourned the slow rate of my recovery. Tears fell as I asked my Heavenly father why I had to endure such suffering for such a long period of time.
"Father, I know you love me, not because I feel your love, but because You've said so in your word and I walk by faith and not by sight." In coming to maturity, His children must learn to believe even without seeing or feeling. His love for me does not entail me waking up and feeling physical exuberance, vitality or feeling happy. For me it has been an arduous and elaborate gleaning of the carnal/intellectual versus the intricate glories of His workmanship, especially in suffering.
God created a perfect and pure world in the garden of Eden. That perfection was marred through Adam and Eve's sin traversing mankind through the flood onto the annihilation of sin and death through the atoning blood of JESUS Christ.
God continues to use vessels who choose to receive His instruction however, difficult, humiliating, and baffling to expound .His deeper truths. I marvel and ponder why , despite my many weaknesses, physical facilities and emotional handicapped He continues to graciously reveal His ways and will? Often, the bodily pain is so strong that I want Him to stop and carry me like Elijah into a chariot to the heavens. "It is enough, Lord," I cry out exhausted from sobbing and opposing.
My writings and songs have now evolved into deeper revelations. I wouldn't expect many to get them and I often wrestle with myself as whether I should waste the time and effort to share such knowledge with a generation so dull of hearing. Hours of editing and composing these spiritual gems usually end up with one or two people who receive and rejoice, I'm tired of delivering telephone books in the elements to secure finances to record songs that are just too deep for the mainstream. Just when I think I'm finished with music or writing, I am encouraged by the Holy Spirit. I forge forward and my Father blesses me with favor.
This is the way of the prophet Misunderstood, scorned and often ignored, but determined and obedient to capture His word and give it to a lost culture driven by secularism and materialism
Lord...throw the life rope. Someone's down there!".
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